Once upon a time there was a world only black and white.
There also was a girl named Rain.
Rain had a difference, she felt too much.
She felt plain in white and hidden in darkness when she wore black. But her mother and the world she lived in assured her that black and white was all there was. So she remained unsatisfied in a world of preconceived notions.
And for some strange reason she never saw things as they were informed to be. She saw things as they are. And for fear of balancing the hue of society she kept this difference inside. Along with all her other questions. Everyday she would wake up and see a white backdrop with black accents. And plain people with dark characteristics. She would try to shine light on the dark but it only consumed her. She was overwhelmed by day and unconsciously awake by night.
When she would come downstairs in the morning for breakfast her mother would ask,“Why do you look as if the sun didn’t come up, dear?”
“Because that’s how I feel.” She said solemnly to herself; As usually no one heard.
The sun is a misunderstood form of beauty, everyone looks at it from afar and basks in its rays, but to Rain the sun is nothing more than a distant form of horror. Rain looks at the sun how it is. As a burning ball of fire in space. Beautiful from her view but deathly if she were to see it up close. That didn’t make it ugly to her, just gave her a reason to fancy the moon.
Rain would stay up all night sometimes. Her thoughts dripping with curiosity. She would stare at the moon for hours. Her mother would walk by and ask why she was still up and she would always respond with how she couldn’t sleep. When really the proper verb usage was not “couldn’t” but rather “wouldn’t.” Although “wouldn’t” was best fitting in the current context.
“Mother,” Rain asked. “Why is day light and night dark?”
Her mother stopped and looked at her, head cocked.
“Well, because the sun is out at day and shines light in everything. And because at night the sun goes down.”
“But when the sun goes down the moon goes up? And the stars come out? They are bright too.”
Rain starred as her mother looked for an answer.
“Well, the sun is just brighter than the moon, darling.”
“But that still doesn’t explain the stars? There are many more of them and even though the sun is bright wouldn’t the moon appear brighter compared to the darkness?” Rain asked.
“Honey, I don’t know. That’s just how it is.”
“But why?” Rain spoke as if a mist was flowing from her soul.
“Because.” Her mother said impatiently.
“But there must be reason. Otherwise how do we even know it exists?—“
“Stop.” Her mother interrupted. “There doesn’t have to be a reason other than that’s just the way it is. No one else questions the moon or sun or day or night. Its just the way it is.”
Rain felt as if a cloud of feelings was welling up inside of her and would explode in any way possible at any given moment.
“But why is it just ‘the way it is?’ Because you and everyone else says it is? Why is there just light and darkness? What if there’s a place where there is not light. Or a place where there is no darkness. What if there’s a place with no sun. What if there’s a place with no light but the moon and stars. A place where you can’t see anything except that which shines brightest in the shadows. Where there’s no focus on the brightness of everyone but the light thats allows them to be seen in the dark. What if something like that exists?”
Her mother starred as if she’d just seen a ghost or remembered a lost memory that was simply lurking in the shadows of her thoughts. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.
“A place like that doesn’t exist, dear. Its just a false thought. And even if it did I wouldn’t want to find it. The night is full of fear and I don’t want you staying awake very late.”
“I think it does. And I think it would be beautiful.” She looked outside as the feelings precipitated inside of her. “I’m going to find it. Someday. And I’ll know when I do. Because all these feelings feel and differences I have will finally make sense.”
Her mother sighed. “That’s a very nice thought, but I promise it doesn’t exist. And it and this is not beautiful. Its wrong. This is all there is. We are all that’s here. There is night and day and dark and light. Those things we know and that’s all we need to know.”
Rain let out a small mist of breath, “I refuse to believe that.”
Her mother kissed her on the forehead, lightly smiled at her and walked down the hall.
Rain looked out the window as the sadness and fury and wonder continue to sweep up inside her. It swirled her thoughts around and her heart thundered uncontrollably. Something was building in side of her. All of her curiosities and differences had been bottled up for too long. They couldn’t stay in the fog forever. She tried to hold her breath but when she looked up and saw the moon and stars she felt this overwhelming sense of peace. As if they sang a twinkling melody at her that said:
No one wants us either. But we are what make the night beautiful.
With a saddening crack of laughter Rain let the storm inside her soul come out. The feeling was like none she ever felt. It was sad but happy; dark but light. It was one might call…melancholy. She felt an exertion of moisture fall from her eye then slide slowly down her cheek. Once it hit her chin it formed a droplet and finally soared down. It hit her leg and the strangest thing happen. The black and white of her clothing started to forged together to create a light yet dark mixture. And even though she had no idea what this hue was, it was the exact look that she felt inside for so long. The first of Rain’s storm. This is the place she wanted to find; The place where dark meets light.
There was once world of black and white.
There was also a girl named Rain.
She lived somewhere in the middle.