“If the Son has set us free then we must be free indeed.” John 8:36
Life is a journey of odds and ends. Paths and Mountains. Highs and Lows. The seeking of truth, love and acceptance. In short, happiness.
We all make mistakes, we learn from them, try to move on and hope to forget the pain ever happened.
And so the pain remains ever still.
I tried to run from the pain of my past for the longest time. I tried to convince others that my depressive states was because ‘I just couldn’t forgive myself.’ When, in truth, that was my sorry excuse for holding on to the crutch that my guilt and shame was to me. I had this twisted enjoyment of being forever misunderstood and guilty. Even though I said I was forgiven by God, but not by myself.
In truth, I was letting my selfish pride and insecurities sever the connection with my Saviour. Causing my forgiveness to be a mere figment of my imagination. Was it available? Yes. Did I accept it fully? No. And it was my own fault I was living in this guilt.
I say all this to make one point: GOD FORGIVES US.. IF WE LET HIM.
It took almost two years and a certain advocate, for me to see it. And by the Grace of God I was able to understand that true freedom may not have been free at the cost, but is freely given to all who want and ask for it. And though we may never may fully forget all the memories and pain, we must remember the lessons of that time. Focus on the forward motion and not the swaying back into remorse. I am still learning and cannot wait to see the road that lies ahed.
So this blog I’m creating is very much a journey of arriving at the space thats in between insane and insecure. And that place is called something very special:
Lets start the journey shall we?